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10 Things to NEVER Say on a Date

You've done it. You landed a date with what could be a future mate and have sealed the deal with plans to get together. Dressed in your finest, you accompany your date to a nice dinner, movie, or otherwise adventurous excursion. If you find yourself exchanging pleasantries, engaging in lively conversation, and feel the chemistry increase be mindful to not get too comfortable in the course of your candlelit talks. Here are the 10 Things To NEVER Say On A Date:

1. "No thanks, I have an ulcer (or some other terrible health disorder)."
Your date does not need to know your medical history, particularly if your relationship is in the early stages and romance is just blossoming. There is a time and a place to have discussions regarding your health or your family's medical history. Keeping your dating life separated from your medical history is not only beneficial long term, but will likely only enhance the mystery which builds attraction. If you have a contagious, communicable disease, postpone the date until you are healthy again. If you have a disorder which could adversely affect your potential love match or is something your date needs to know (did someone say herpes?) you MUST tell your date if and only if their health is at risk. Discussing bowel functions, your mother's ingrown toenail, or male patterned baldness on a date is unnecessary and pretty much off-putting. Save it for (much, much) later, if ever.

2. "My ex was..."
Your past is your past and the reason why your ex is not part of your present is YOUR business, not your date's. Mentioning your ex will trigger red flags in your date and push their mind to ponder and question if you still carry a flame for your former partner. Refrain from any mention of your ex. Period. If your date poses questions regarding your former relationships, respond vaguely "Yeah, it just didn't work out," "I don't live in the past," or avoidance with "Please pass the salt" will suffice. What you don't say about your ex will not come back to haunt you. Answering a barrage of questions regarding former relationships is not worthy of the ensuing trouble they cause.

3. "I wish I were thinner/taller/my boobs were bigger, etc..."
The easiest way to squash dating potential is to seem less than confident. Don't let the little things, like a few extra pounds, get you down. Keep body parts off limits in the course of conversations. The mere mention of "I like a gal with a nice _____ " (fill in the blank) will only cause your date to ponder what she doesn't have. Keep the body parts talk out of conversations you have on a date. And if you open Pandora's box, don't say we didn't warn you.

4. "I wish you could cook like my mom."
Don't compare your date to someone else. Comparisons are unfair, as each person is as individual and unique is a snowflake. Comparisons also create awkward silences and unrealistic expectations. The mere mention of how so-and-so can do something better could potentially trigger feelings of inadequacy in your date. How would you like it if the tables were turned?

5. "This one time I got sooooo drunk wet my pants and porked a waitress."
A total buzz kill (no pun intended) is to relive all of your wild, booze filled, hedonistic tendencies to your date. Giving your date a play-by-play of what you can remember from your last wild bacchanal will deflate your positive attributes. The wild nights you've spent in bars or at parties can cause your date to find you immature at best. Play up your positive achievements or accomplishments, and leave the drinking stories at the bar.

6. "I love you. Let's get married."
Love and marriage are definitely not the best topics of conversation while out on a date. It's best to think short term. And let time be the deciding factor in determining the rest. Even if you feel that hopeless, love at first sight feeling and your heart screams "Marry me!" it's best to keep such thoughts to yourself. Be cool. Don't scare off your potential love interest with your laundry list of attributes your date has in common with your perfect mate. Refrain from sharing how you've already planned what kind of house the pair of you will live in. Just let the relationship be and have faith that when the moment is right, you'll know.

7. "You're Catholic???"
Leave discussions regarding religion in your temple, church, or place of worship, particularly if you and your date don't have the same beliefs. Leave the subject completely alone if you fall on opposite ends of the religious spectrum. Conversations regarding religion generally lead to debates which lead to arguments which may lead to fistfights or worse. Have faith that differences can be worked out when or if the relationship is strong enough to carry them. And leave the topic alone until then.

8. "I like monkey sex."
If you'd like to see your date again, generally leaving any questions regarding sex out of your conversation is the best way to let nature take its course. Don't engage in any "Have you ever done it on an airplane/reverse cowgirl/etc?" Banish conversations about sex to the bedroom and keep them there. This also relates to any past "sex-capades" regarding size, acrobatic feats, and numbers. Follow a simple "don't ask, don't tell" policy and LEAVE IT ALONE.

9. "You're only eating a salad?"
No one wants to date their mother or nutritionist, so refrain from questioning what your date orders. Perhaps your date had a late lunch. Perhaps your date just isn't hungry. Perhaps your date is trying to diet. Whatever the reason, IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Don't pry.

10. "So, how much money do you make?"
Money is the root of all evil (or so they say.) Asking your date how much money he or she earns is entirely NOT the way to get to know someone. How much you bank is your business. Conversations regarding money can sabotage a really great date instantly. If you earn a lot, you could seem like you're bragging. If you don't earn enough or spend foolishly, you could seem like you're broke. And many folks dislike braggarts and/or bums.

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